There’s an approach for giving feedback out there that says you should only talk about what you feel and observe, and not assume or imply the other person’s intentions.

A tennis metaphor is used: “Don’t jump the net,” meaning, when giving feedback, say what you see, not what you think the other person’s motivation was.

I must admit I’m not sure I 100% agree with that, if for no other reason than I’m never 100% sure what’s happening on my side of the net (i.e., in my head).

I get it how a therapist might want a patient to patiently come to realizations on their own, but I’ve found in my past, when someone is very abrupt with me, guessing at my my messed-up thinking, I’ve grown faster.

I don’t always accept their reading of my tea leaves, but when people I respect get it right, I change. Quickly.